Friday, 4 November 2016

Brain Fog #3


If   you've missed my previous post on brain fog, you can check it out here. Don't expect to be reading this and learning something about brain fog, this series is all about the ridiculous things I say, or try to say, when brain fog has kicked in and I make no sense. 

I'm not a very serious person and I laugh quite a lot so I won't take offence if you have a giggle at my expense; I'm actually hoping this post will make you laugh. I think you'll realise that my boyfriend has magical powers as he knows what I'm attempting to say before I do. So, I'm going to share some of the things I've said since my last post that are completely nonsensical and all brain fogs fault.

  • *** Looking at a picture on Instagram of one of those milkshakes with doughnuts, flakes, brownies etc in ***

  • 'Oh my god, why don't we know any people, shops, fucking hell, cafes, that do these?'

  • 'I've got a pain in the chest of my boob.'

  • Me - 'I'm going to watch YouTube. No, Whatsapp.'
    Bf - 'Snapchat?'
    Me - 'That.'

  • Me - 'We haven't watched Better Call Wall. No, Paul. Oh for fucks sake.'
    Bf - 'Saul.'

  • 'Can you put the fan on?' - I meant the lamp.

  • 'I need my f-f-f-f oh fucking hell, the fucking medicine that I drink.'

  • 'Do you need to cook the scosage and scramble regg?' - Sausage and scrambled egg.

  • Me - 'My back is such a sis-tas-ter. No, dis-stas-ter.'
    Bf - 'Disaster.'
    Me - *glares at him*

  • Me - 'I hope we can fit a desk in the bedroom, it'll make my heart happy. I love washi tape.'
    Bf - 'In completely unrelated news.'

  • Me - 'How does he speak every accent? No, religion?'
    Bf - 'Language.'

  • Me - 'I need some lethal, lethal, lethal, least ampy-hip-sam-meems.'
    Bf - 'Ampy-hip-sam-meems?'
    Me - 'I said 'lethal' so many times because I don't know the word.
    Bf - 'Antihistamine?'
    Me - 'Them.'

  • Bf - 'What did you watch last night?'
    Me - 'About twenty minutes of Half Upon a Time.' - Once Upon a Time.

  • Bf - 'I'm still hungry.'
    Me - 'What do we have?'
    Bf - 'Bread and cheese.'
    Me - 'Have bread on cheese then.'

  • Me - 'I'm quite upset that it costs for tushing the floylet.' - Flushing the toilet.

  • *** Went to put my phone in my bra. Wasn't wearing a bra. Phone fell through my top and onto the floor ***

  • Bf - 'You're never coherent this time of night.'
    Me - 'I am cod-herent.'

  • Me - 'If you want a face, I'll face you with a plant.' - I meant, 'if you want a fight, I'll punch you in the face.

  • Bf - 'How long does it need charging?'
    Me - 'Read the words.'
    Bf - 'You mean the instructions?'

  • Me - 'What I go say. What I go say. What I go say. What I say go.'
    Bf - 'S.'

  • Me - 'It's so they don't get f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f'
    Bf - 'Food on their clothes.'
    Me - 'That'.

  • 'I'm going to face my wash.' - Wash my face.

  • 'I don't like splashios. Wow, I'm putting that in my brain flog.' - *Pistachios *fog

  • 'Will you blind the close?' - Close the curtains.

  • 'I've seen Neil live.' - Ne-Yo.

  • 'You're such a dwack.' - I don't even know what I was trying to say.

  • 'There's too much vamineger.' - *Vinegar.

So, there you go guys, my brain is a joke - quite literally. Let me know your favourites in the comments. I think Ne-Yo will forever be 'Neil' to Ian and I now. Oops.

4 comments:

  1. I love the how does he speak every religion. Also petition to make you're such a dwack our new insult. I love brain fog haha
    Beth x
    Mermaid in Disguise

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha we'll have to start using dwack more x

      Delete
  2. hahaha love this post! My favourites have to be 'I've got a pain in the chest of my boob' and 'How does he speak every accent? No, religion' XD

    Sarah | Raiin Monkey

    ReplyDelete

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