This doesn't bother me in a way that I'm fixated upon it, but it is something in the back of my mind; especially with regards to how outsiders view things.
My relationship with my boyfriend, Ian, isn't 50/50, it's not equal.
What I mean is, he does absolutely everything. It seems like his whole being is consumed by my needs and what I want; and to top it all off, he cooks, cleans, and does all the household things I find difficult or am simply unable to do. I'm not basing our relationship on who does what, but I know other people will look it at that way...Because really, what does he get from being with me? The girl in pain all the time, the girl who's too fatigued she can barely lift her head up, the girl who needs to go back home earlier than scheduled due to a PoTS attack. 'What does he see in her?'
I might not be able to cook my man a three-course meal, or clean the whole house from top to bottom. I can't spend a full-day out adventuring, or plan something spontaneous due to the variability of my condition, but I am a comedic genius and always supportive. I can read Ian like a book and know if something is troubling him, and I can make him cry laughing. My beardy knows how much I love him and how grateful I am for everything he does.
So, when I hear people say, 'relationships should be 50/50', it irritates me. Should they? Can't relationships be whatever work for the people in the relationship? What's so wrong with 40/60 or any other denomination? 50/50 simply can't work for everyone, no relationship is the same.
I have more needs than Ian, he knew that when we met and we're both absolutely fine with how we work. I'm not always easy, and I see the pain/worry/angst on his face when I'm in a flare-up, it can't be easy to watch the person you love suffering. Equally, we sit and laugh ecstatically when brain fog kicks in and I speak nonsense; luckily he can usually read my mind and finish my sentences for me.
My relationship isn't 50/50, and we're okay with that.