Monday, 18 January 2016

Chronic Illness and Brain Fog


For as long as I've been living the Spoonie life (16 years), I've had these weird little bouts of fogginess. The combination of chronic pain, fatigue and lack of sleep take a huge toll on the brain and sometimes it's really difficult to say words, let alone form sentences.

When it comes to brain fog, I'm particularly bad at remembering words and/or using the correct word. This used to annoy me so much when I was at University as I studied English at Masters level. I sometimes simply couldn't muster up the most obvious word and would end up really frustrated and paranoid that my classmates thought I was an idiot. It still infuriates me to this day, but luckily if my boyfriend is around, he can finish my sentences for me. Unless I attempt to battle through the fog and make up a word, he then just laughs. 

I also suffer with short-term memory loss, poor concentration and general haziness. It's not the best, it makes me really angry but it can also be pretty hilarious.

I've been compiling a list of the ridiculous things (when I remember to write them down) I've said due to brain fog and I thought I'd share them so we can all have a little giggle.

  • 'Shut the window doors.' - I wanted the curtains closed. The curtains will forever be the 'window doors' to Ian and I.

  • 'Where's the iPad?' - I was using it. I do this a lot, with everything.

  • Me - 'Can you pass me that thing. That big iPad.'
    Bf - 'You mean the laptop?'

  • 'I like diamonds, not those scuba sercomia.' - I meant cubic zirconia.

  • Bf - 'Where did he shoot him? I know you're not watching.'
    Me - 'In the dick.'
    Bf - 'No.'
    Me - 'In the cock.'
    Bf - 'Same thing.' - We were watching TV, or rather Ian was.

  • 'There's a gap in the wordos.' - The curtains weren't closed properly.

  • Me - 'I've got them sneezing meds in my bag.'
    Ian - 'Antihistamines.'

  •  'A lot narrower than his fed, fred, forehead.'

  • Me - 'Could you pass me the hook, please? The telly hook.'
    Bf - 'The HMDI cable.'
    Me - 'Same thing.'

  • Me - 'I'm taking one of these. I have to let it melt on my face.'
    Bf - 'You mean 'on your tongue'.'
    Me - 'My tongue is on my face.'
    Bf - 'In it, but okay.'

  • 'His hair is skwed,' *hysterical laughter, 'I meant his head is square.'

  • Me - 'Why didn't you have a beer in the hospital?'
    Bf - 'You mean 'the restaurant?''

  • 'I'm just lulling you into a false salsa security.'

  • 'Little gem lep-see.' - I meant 'little gem lettuce leaves.'

  • Me - 'You can't reheat chucking chocolate.'
    Bf - ''Cooking' chocolate.'

  • 'He's put it in a tub of cot water.' - Hot water, I should have said 'hot water.' Oops.

  • 'I'll only eat ice cream with a fork. I mean a knife. Oh for fucks sake, the other one.' - The amount I talk about spoons and I couldn't find the bloody word.

  • Me - 'I can't help it if my face doesn't speak properly.'
    Bf - *Looks at me*
    Me - 'My mouth then.'

I hope you had a little chuckle at some of my brain fog moments. I'm sure there'll be more to come. 

16 comments:

  1. You're not alone lovely...I TOTALLT get this post-you just described my life!

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  2. Haha I'm glad you are able to laugh at yourself! Some of the stuff we come out with is comedy gold

    "I'm just lulling you into a false salsa security.'"

    I think that one is my favourite lol XD

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    Replies
    1. Isn't it? We're bloody hilarious lol.
      Ahaha thank you, I'm here all week ;) x

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  3. I didn't have "a little chuckle." I had a belly laugh. I SO do this too! And I too have an MA in English. Beau says he has to wait forever for me to finish sentences as I try to remember words so it goes like this: "Beau, where's the ... ahhh the ... [me making strained faces as I struggle to remember the word] ... oh you know what I mean, the thing!" I find that I tend to do what you did with the cutlery: I use the wrong word in the same class category. So I'll say something like, "I need a blanket, no a towel, no a ... a napkin!" And it's always nouns. God only knows why.

    Anyway, I didn't know others got this from pain too. Gosh. What a messed up life I lead.

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  4. Aww bless you, these were so funny, me and my friend can relate to these so much, the amount of time we both come out with the weirdest words thanks to fibro! I hope you keep writing them down to share with us xx

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  5. I've definitely got brain fog and finding hard to deal with. It's one of things that's stopping me working, does anyone manage to work normally?

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    1. It's really difficult. A lot of people do, it's just a struggle x

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  6. Salsa security is my favourite!
    You described me too. This is by far one of my most frustrating symptoms. I try to laugh about it, but sometimes it just embarrasses me... it makes me feel so very stupid. The thing I hate the most is when I'm in the middle of a sentence when I have to stop because I suddenly have no idea what I was talking about.
    It's important to keep a sense of humour. Thanks for sharing your brain fog:) Linda

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading, Linda, I really appreciate it. It makes me feel really stupid too, it's so frustrating x

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  7. Hi Sarah,

    These were so funny.I too hard this problem still,sometimes I have no idea what I was talking about.You are really a strong women because you did not give up in your suffering.You have went through chronic pain and short-term memory loss.But,You overcame from that situation with a smile.I want to say that, I can not face a small problem that hurt me lot.But, your positive attitude changed me.Now,I am enough confident to overcome the frustrations and barriers.Thanks for sharing your brain fog.I hope you keep writing.
    Nayana

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  8. I lost it at false salsa security. I cant breathe. I think you may have killed me
    Beth x
    Mermaid in Disguise

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