- 'Shut the window doors.' - I wanted the curtains closed. The curtains will forever be the 'window doors' to Ian and I.
- 'Where's the iPad?' - I was using it. I do this a lot, with everything.
- Me - 'Can you pass me that thing. That big iPad.'
Bf - 'You mean the laptop?'
- 'I like diamonds, not those scuba sercomia.' - I meant cubic zirconia.
- Bf - 'Where did he shoot him? I know you're not watching.'
Me - 'In the dick.'
Bf - 'No.'
Me - 'In the cock.'
Bf - 'Same thing.' - We were watching TV, or rather Ian was.
- 'There's a gap in the wordos.' - The curtains weren't closed properly.
- Me - 'I've got them sneezing meds in my bag.'
Ian - 'Antihistamines.'
- 'A lot narrower than his fed, fred, forehead.'
- Me - 'Could you pass me the hook, please? The telly hook.'
Bf - 'The HMDI cable.'
Me - 'Same thing.'
- Me - 'I'm taking one of these. I have to let it melt on my face.'
Bf - 'You mean 'on your tongue'.'
Me - 'My tongue is on my face.'
Bf - 'In it, but okay.'
- 'His hair is skwed,' *hysterical laughter, 'I meant his head is square.'
- Me - 'Why didn't you have a beer in the hospital?'
Bf - 'You mean 'the restaurant?''
- 'I'm just lulling you into a false salsa security.'
- 'Little gem lep-see.' - I meant 'little gem lettuce leaves.'
- Me - 'You can't reheat chucking chocolate.'
Bf - ''Cooking' chocolate.'
- 'He's put it in a tub of cot water.' - Hot water, I should have said 'hot water.' Oops.
- 'I'll only eat ice cream with a fork. I mean a knife. Oh for fucks sake, the other one.' - The amount I talk about spoons and I couldn't find the bloody word.
- Me - 'I can't help it if my face doesn't speak properly.'
Bf - *Looks at me*
Me - 'My mouth then.'
I hope you had a little chuckle at some of my brain fog moments. I'm sure there'll be more to come.