- Being chronically ill, it's really hard to tell people that we're unable to do a particular task - instead we're passive and gloss over the fact that we need help.
- I sometimes lack assertiveness to please someone else or to avoid conflict; I'll clean the bathroom to contribute and avoid an argument but end up in a flare. The better solution is to explain that the bathroom will be cleaned over a couple of days so I can pace.
- We often feel obligated; we say 'no' so often, we have to say 'yes' to help out family/friends/colleagues even if it's detrimental to our health. It's important to recognise that when we say 'no' we are refusing the request, not rejecting the person.
Communicate - Speak clearly and be specific. If they have asked you to go somewhere, find out all the details before making a decision. Use 'I' and you can say 'no'. If the other person isn't understanding calmly repeat your point
Make requests - 'I feel useless that I can't load the dishwasher, could you please help me?'